Shiki Sees: "Deathpond"

OMG, have you guys seen Deathpond yet? He is, like, the naughtiest hottie from all your Shinobi Land dreams!


OK, so check it out. Deathpond is a superhero, right? But he's like a bad boy superhero, and he's got these two guns, and these two katanas, and underneath that mask, woo! Hotsville! I mean, until he gets all nasty and leathery and everything, but — ooh, spoilers! My bad!

And he's played by the hot guy from that vampire movie. The third vampire movie. I love that movie. I mean, it's awful, but I love that he's in it, y'know? He cracks jokes in that one too, but his jokes in Deathpond are way, way better, and he cracks them all the time.

And sometimes, in the movie, he talks right into the camera, and it's like, OMG, he looked right at me! I seriously want him to just reach out through the screen, pull me in, and take me on his whole adventure. I mean, I'd look good kicking bad buy behind right next to him, y'know. I bet he'd look over and say, "Hey, Shiki, you really put the bite on that guy!" I mean, he'd probably say something wittier than that, but you know what I mean.

I totally want to see it again. Maybe I'll ask Yaggie, if she's not too shaken up still over, y'know, "that other movie."

Oh, I haven't told you that story yet, Okay, I'll tell you soon, I promise...